I stopped writing about my journey into becoming Blanche because I got scared. As rehearsals began I found my knees knocking in fear that someone would call me out as a fraud, a wanna-be actor unworthy of this highly desired role. And I even found myself wondering if I could actually do this. How does one memorize 400 monologues anyway? That may be an exaggeration but it certainly felt like the weighty truth as I read and re-read and read the play over and over just hoping somehow these lines would stick to my brain like wig glue, maybe I could just paste these lines into my brain by reading the play one more time. But that wasn't even the half of it...no the lines were just one ingredient in this multi-layered cake of a role that can only be shaped and decorated around the players Blanche encounters. Bit by bit the lines started to come and the relationships began to shape and my ideas around each line seemed to take new meaning. Little by little lines melted into actions, plans and deliberate scheming as Blanche tries to save herself from drowning.
And somewhere between late night ice cream, classroom lesson plans and grandma's 90th birthday I finally found her. Blanche was there all along hiding in that insecure actress who showed up at the first rehearsal scared out of her mind. She was there as I stood before my first class and taught my first lesson alone, with confidence shining on the outside and wet smelly armpits sweating through the fear.
I found her at the last possible second, of course, as I looked into the eyes of Stanley then Stella and back again just one week before opening night. I found her with help from kind and detail oriented directors who also gave me freedom to follow my instincts. I found her in loving cast mates who come running to my rescue when scenery doors get stuck. There she is, there she's been, little bits and pieces in every part of every day.
One of my cast mates told me that her director back home told her to remember that "it is an honor to speak the words Tennessee Williams wrote" and I am incredibly honored to have this opportunity to live with Blanche for a few more weeks. It has been the most challenging role of my life. But how blessed am I to have been given this challenge? Blessed.
Blanche arrives in New Orleans hoping for one last chance. And tonight I arrived to our final dress hoping for one more shot at getting Blanche right before opening night...sure there were flubbed lines and dropped props (with a character who speaks 90 miles per minute its hard not to flub a few) but I left the theatre tonight with a smile on my face knowing I get to be Blanche eight more times.
I've only been to New Orleans twice but I can still taste the buttery sweetness in my mouth when I bit into my first Pecan Praline at a sweetshop just West of the French Quarter, it was like nothing I'd ever tasted before hard to bite into but so satisfying. Tonight's final dress had that same feeling...hard work, lots to chew on but oh so gratifying in the end. As I drove home I thought to swing by McDonald's for one more late night ice cream before opening night. I laughed out loud when I looked on the newly arranged dessert menu and found a new offering for their McFlurry's: Pecan Praline. Serendipitous? Perhaps...or maybe just a welcome to New Orleans. Blanche's streetcar just rounded the corner...she's here.
And somewhere between late night ice cream, classroom lesson plans and grandma's 90th birthday I finally found her. Blanche was there all along hiding in that insecure actress who showed up at the first rehearsal scared out of her mind. She was there as I stood before my first class and taught my first lesson alone, with confidence shining on the outside and wet smelly armpits sweating through the fear.
I found her at the last possible second, of course, as I looked into the eyes of Stanley then Stella and back again just one week before opening night. I found her with help from kind and detail oriented directors who also gave me freedom to follow my instincts. I found her in loving cast mates who come running to my rescue when scenery doors get stuck. There she is, there she's been, little bits and pieces in every part of every day.
One of my cast mates told me that her director back home told her to remember that "it is an honor to speak the words Tennessee Williams wrote" and I am incredibly honored to have this opportunity to live with Blanche for a few more weeks. It has been the most challenging role of my life. But how blessed am I to have been given this challenge? Blessed.
Blanche arrives in New Orleans hoping for one last chance. And tonight I arrived to our final dress hoping for one more shot at getting Blanche right before opening night...sure there were flubbed lines and dropped props (with a character who speaks 90 miles per minute its hard not to flub a few) but I left the theatre tonight with a smile on my face knowing I get to be Blanche eight more times.
I've only been to New Orleans twice but I can still taste the buttery sweetness in my mouth when I bit into my first Pecan Praline at a sweetshop just West of the French Quarter, it was like nothing I'd ever tasted before hard to bite into but so satisfying. Tonight's final dress had that same feeling...hard work, lots to chew on but oh so gratifying in the end. As I drove home I thought to swing by McDonald's for one more late night ice cream before opening night. I laughed out loud when I looked on the newly arranged dessert menu and found a new offering for their McFlurry's: Pecan Praline. Serendipitous? Perhaps...or maybe just a welcome to New Orleans. Blanche's streetcar just rounded the corner...she's here.
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